Vedic Astrology Part II

Okay so Venus is obviously the best planet. If you were to go to a planet there would be nothing but love, celebration, beauty, happiness, on Venus; why would you not go there? Saturn is the school, the teacher, Venus is the after party; where you go to celebrate once you are able to celebrate; because let me tell you; until you have found yourself, you do not know celebration.

So if you were to go to a planet, astrally; first of all, the sun is too hot, what can you do there; it would be too hot to do anything. On Mercury you would fiddle, on Jupiter you would adventure, explore; so Venus here, obviously the best; the strongest, however, would be Saturn – just look at it. If the planets were to have a war, here, Saturn would win. Of course Venus would be too pretty to fight because she loves peace, and peace trumps all; Saturn would honor this; but really Saturn would win versus the rest of them. Mercury would hide because it is so small; Mars would flail its arms, oh but Saturns arms are so long that it is just blocking Mars on its forehead, that would be it; Saturn would just look at the sun and it would explode, oh and look there is Mercury, it was hiding behind the sun. If Rahu and Ketu somehow joined back together, Saturn would take Swarbhanu by its tail and beat Mercury over the head with it. Oh and then there is poor earth; Saturn would have sympathy for her because she is overburdened with fools; the state of humanity is that of an old man running naked through the street with his underwear on his head: it is doubly backwards; it is not enough that the old man is running naked through the street but he also has his underwear on his head; Saturn would have sympathy for this planet. Saturn would make you shake when you are doing something that you are not supposed to do because you have been there and done that, you have experienced it, and yet you are here doing it again, because you want some nookie from your ex-girlfriend. Saturn would make you tremble and get out of there. Saturn is like a stray planet that is coming closer and closer to earth everyday; one day you can see it right there, closer than the moon, about to make impact with the earth – this is Saturn, you cannot escape it; you either do what he wants you to do or you will destroy yourself – Saturn will set you on the path of truth and goodness that cannot be contained. Really though, if the outer planets were to descend; first of all, Pluto would kill the other two before they came down; Pluto would come down by itself; he would look at Mars and it would die; he would not touch the earth because there is already too much death there – too many zombies; if there was a child born on another planet, they would die instantly because they would have earth in their birth chart, so it is not possible, because the anguish of this planet is so immense. Now Pluto and Saturn, there would be a scuffle, but really, Pluto would win. Pluto would leave Venus alone of course because she is too pretty to fight and just wants peace. This is why Venus is the best planet, because it is the planet of celebration; and you can only have celebration if you have love; and you can only have love if you have peace; without peace, love is not possible, is a gimmick.

Now for the most important planet – this is Uranus; because Uranus is the eurika, the growth, the connector, the Aquarian; without Uranus, growth would not be possible; it is connecting the dots and seeing the bigger picture; it is basic discovery. Saturn will teach you to sit there and listen and Uranus is when you have finally found it.

So Pluto would basically win the war; he only wants death; he only wants to send you to the next life to transform. While Saturn does not give a shit, Pluto really does not give a shit; he wants you melted into the ether and will not stop killing you until you are there; so while Saturn is the teacher of the unknown, Pluto is the unknown itself, he is total annihilation, totality.

having to do something is not required if you are willing to gamble with death, and through this victory, you will come home

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